So I know no one is perfect, but at the same time we all have an ideal we try to live up to. When a wrench like this is thrown into your world you can either try to ignore it, let it ruin your ideal, or adapt your ideal to work with it. To me the first two are like trying to be perfect, I instead have had to adapt my ideal...my ideal pregnancy (which wasn't that great since just like Ellie, Baby Sager made me nauseated for the first 6 months)...ideal time off of work...ideal time home with Ellie...I'm sure I could go on, my point being I've had to adjust it all. Let's face it, my three-year old won't remember that we didn't go to the park when I was home with her, but she will remember making play-dough and having lots of tea-parties with mommy, she'll remember helping "like a big girl" to let the dog out, stir her mac'n'cheese, clean up after her meal. Baby Sager won't remember that I couldn't breast feed.
With all that tonight I am a tad nervous, once again because of the unknown. Tomorrow will be my first Chemo treatment and it makes me nervous that I don't know what to expect for the week after. It makes me more nervous that each round I could react differently so what happens this time may be different for rounds 2 and 3. But I do not have control, so I have to LET IT GO, and make the best of it.
P.S. I am so getting this shirt when all is said and done :)