Rough Weekend

So it all started Thursday my nausea set in (which is not helped with my post nasal drip caused by allergies and chemo) and that night I got the worst night sleep since my diagnosis. I don't know why. I wasn't apprehensive about my biopsy since I had already done one, I was tired, I just could not sleep and then had to be up at 6 to be at Kaiser by 7.
My biopsy on Friday went well, I wasn't able to get much sleep as the recovery area is rather noisy and busy.  This was also when my mouth sensitivity set in making me not want to eat (everything just feel gross in my mouth and the taste is off) When we got home, I took a short nap but was still tired.  I sucked up my aversion to Ensure and had one for dinner, knowing that I needed something to give me energy and that I wasn't going to be able to eat anything. Two awesome friends came over and helped with the girls while Sam was at karate.
On Saturday I woke up still feeling nauseated but not as tired but the effort of getting up and getting dressed exhausted me. I spent the whole day on the couch and was able to eat a little chicken soup, some quesadilla and some ramen noodles. Not the most nutritious but I was able to keep everything down and I supplemented with more Ensure. My nausea is aggravated when I cough, which is often right now. Saturday also began the battle with Ellie for following directions and listening. We will asked her to do something, she'll say OK and then not do anything or tell us she'll do it after she finishes what she is playing with. This sometimes will result in her waiting an hour to do something. Sam had a great idea of getting ping-pong balls and a jar and every time she listens the first time, she gets a ball in the jar, when she gets 10 she will get a small prize. This worked fabulously all day and Ellie got 6 balls in her jar.
Sunday I was still nauseated and still tired, though I am sure the tired is because I've spent two days doing nothing. The really battle today though has been getting Ellie to listen. There were tears with getting her in the shower, getting her dressed, eating her breakfast, taking her nap (she never did fall asleep) and then the major melt down came at dinner. She was crying, I was crying, Cora was crying UGGG!!!! It is hard being a good mom, it is near impossible to be a good mom with no energy! Ellie wanted nachos for dinner, we said no since she had them for lunch, she started to cry that she didn't want to eat her dinner then, we took away her i-pad, she cried that she didn't want to eat her dinner and wanted her i-pad back, we told her she could have her i-pad when she started eating, she cried....the last two were on a loop for about 40 minutes. This is when it is easy to just make the nachos and get the kid to stop crying, but that is not the responsible, good mom thing to do so I had to stick with my guns, even when it brought me to tears of frustration and exhaustion.

I hope that Monday we can start off on a better foot with no tears from either of us. Also happening this week, I should get my biopsy results Tuesday or Wednesday, if there is no sign of cancer from this biopsy I will most likely have a PET scan to identify any cancer cells in my body.  On Wednesday I have an appointment at Nordstrom to be fitted for my prosthesis, so I will not look lopsided anymore.
I'll leave you with a picture that makes me smile :)